Austerity Project, Day 0

Tomorrow's the big day! Not that today is any different. I'm really trying to not be one of those people who, right before starting a big diet, have a binge day. So, no online shopping, no eating out, no going to three movies tonight just because starting tomorrow I can't. That would be irresponsible, and until we get the rent check from our condo, impossible.

I promised that today I would write about our policy of accepting gifts and treats this month. Because we live in a communal house, every once in a while, someone gets a bug and decides to "treat" everyone to dinner or a movie or something. This is a lovely, generous impulse and we've all done it at one point or another in the time that we've been living together. The only problem is that none of us really have the money to do that. Everyone is either retired and on a fixed income or unemployed and on a fixed income or Tony and me, who have had no income to speak of for years. No Diamond Jim Bradys here.

The policy I've decided on for the month, then, is that we aren't allowed to accept "treats" from anyone else. In order to encourage greater fiscal responsibility in the entire house, if we can't afford to do it on our own, we don't do it. If everyone else wants to eat Chinese or go out for a movie, Tony and I will graciously decline and stay home. If we can't afford it, we don't do it.

I believe very strongly in paying one's own way in the world. I know Tony feels the same way. I've tried very hard my entire adult life not to take any handouts or help from people. I feel terribly guilty when it does happen, especially if that person didn't really have the extra money to give. I understand that generosity is a good impulse we shouldn't deny, and I am often generous to a fault myself, but I just think that, at 30, I should be completely independent. Hell, I felt that way at 20. I will admit, I lived with my mom for three months after my first divorce in order to save some money to get my own place, but I hated feeling as though I was going in reverse. Even though the place I ended up living was pretty awful (the Papa John's guy got mugged on my doorstep, and I did have to crawl on the floor one time when I heard gunshots nearby), it was still mine. And my first mother-in-law was incredibly generous with me, but I always felt as though I could never really "own" the things I was given because I didn't earn them or pay for them myself.

So the point of this month is not to embrace austerity for ourselves and take advantage of everyone around us. Tony and I have to make tough decisions. We can't have our cake and eat it, too. We can't just bat our eyes at the dinner table and flash an empty wallet, hoping someone else takes pity and picks up the check. We need to admit where we are, embrace it and get through it. In the end, I hope it will build some character for us.