Exclamatory sentences

I use too many exclamation points. This came to my attention last week when I was sending out an invoice for some air freight that we'd sent to Jakarta. Here's the actual body of that email:

"Hi Frank!

Hope all is well with you and the family! We're buried under some serious snow here, but I'm sure you are too!

I'm attaching the invoice for your Jakarta load. It finally delivered this morning. (Yay!) Please let me know if you have any questions."


That's four exclamation points in two paragraphs and a salutation. IN A BUSINESS EMAIL. I've run amok. I'm out of control. Everything I say in emails or on Facebook or IM is said with breathless excitement, according to my punctuation. I think I have an addiction. TO EXCLAMATION!

The root of the problem is that in an email, there is no context. You have no idea if the person is happy, sad, excited, etc. Beyond using the dreaded emoticon, how can you convey that you are in fact, cheerfully anticipating payment on an invoice or really happy to hear about someone's children? (I won't put smiley faces in my emails. That's just unprofessional.)

Another issue is that, in general, I'm a pretty over-the-top person. I like hyperbole, I am easily excited, I gesticulate wildly and I laugh way too much and too loudly. Basically, I'm a walking, talking exclamation point. With an unusual hourglass shape.

But I realize that some people regard the exclamation point as childish or unprofessional. So I can take one of two stances - either bend to their will and stop using them, or try to break new ground in the world of corporate communication where exclamation points are not only accepted, but embraced. Soon masters of industry like Bill Gates and Kim Kardashian will be using exclamation points in all their memos, emails and presentations. (Come to think of it, Kim Kardashian probably already does. Replace her with Donald Trump and you'll get my point.) The world will be rife with exclamatory statements. Annual reports will suddenly be filled with a joy and urgency they currently lack. (Earnings down 3%! Corporate bonuses increased by 10% year over year!) PowerPoint presentations will be jazzy, packed start to finish with joie de vivre and je ne sais quoi!

Or, I'll just continue along my lonely (but excited!) path, dropping exclama-bombs like so much napalm over my emails and online communication. No one ever accused me of being the consummate professional, anyhow. (As I type this, I'm on company time, wearing giant fuzzy slippers and trying to figure out how to shop online without Tony seeing my computer screen.) I suppose my punctuation is the least of my sins.

Coutsoftides out!!!!!