Resolutions...

Okay, I know it's not January, but it is time for some resolutions. Let's call them my November Resolutions.

I've been wallowing around a bit lately, not knowing what to do with myself or how to order my days. The business is starting to bustle, but I can still get my work done in about an hour or two every day. In the future, I'm sure I'll be swamped, but right now, I have a lot of free time.

Mostly, I've been spending that watching "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel. Not perhaps the best use of my time. I have, however, gained a new appreciation for how hard it is to eat and digest two gallons of ice cream in less than an hour. (That has always been a goal of mine.)

So last night I made some resolutions. (Our motto here is "Why wait until January to make unreasonable goals that you'll try to reach for a week and a half and then ignore in disappointment the rest of the year?")

So here's the list:

1. I will do the dishes every day (this was Tony's job, but I'm feeling generous.)
a. I will not hand-wash dishes. That is gross. Tony can still do that.
b. Basically, I will load and unload the dishwasher every day.

2. I will fold the laundry within 24 hours of it leaving the dryer. I will put my laundry away immediately after that. Tony's laundry will sit on the kitchen table until such time that he puts it away. I'm his wife, not his mom.
a. I will no longer get dressed in the laundry room.
b. I will no longer sprint through the house in my underwear, hoping the neighbors don't see me on my way to getting dressed in the laundry room.

3. I will exercise for 30 minutes every day.
a. Even if this is just 30 minutes of very slow walking on the treadmill while I clutch my stomach in nausea.
b. Except Sunday, which I reserve as my "lazy day."

4. I will put some kind of real clothing (not workout clothes) and makeup on every day. If I don't have clothes that fit, I will manufacture some with rubber bands and prayer. (If you've ever been pregnant, you will understand this.) Zipping is optional at this point.
a. Except Sunday. See above.
b. Some days, moisturizer counts as "makeup."

5. I will eat at least five servings of fruit and vegetables every day. I don't want this baby born with scurvy.
a. Sometimes, an Edy's Real Fruit frozen treat will just have to count as a "fruit."
b. Ditto V-8 juice as a "vegetable."


6. No matter how much it scares me, I will increase my caloric intake when I reach the second trimester.
a. Tony has to resolve to take back any comments he has made about divorcing me if I gain too much weight.
b. My mom isn't allowed to mention calories, weight, fat or her own ridiculous pre- and post-pregnancy weights (oh, you know, like 100 pounds, soaking wet) in my presence.

7. I will suck it up and grocery shop on my own. (This is a major anxiety trigger for me, for some reason.)
a. I am allowed two panic calls to Tony and/or my mother per shopping trip.
b. I reserve the right to leave a full shopping cart in the store and run screaming to my car at any point.

8. At 14 weeks, I will stop taking my daily nap. The time that I was using for that I will fill with constructive baby preparations. Like watching "Man vs. Food."
a. I reserve the right to re-introduce the nap at any time.
b. I also reserve the right to attempt to eat two gallons of ice cream at any point. See point 6.

So that's what I have so far. We'll have to wait and see how it all works out, but I'm feeling optimistic. This morning, I've already exercised, folded laundry, dressed myself and done the dishes. Frankly, I feel like Superwoman. Tomorrow, I probably won't get out of bed.