Resume Tips

Okay, it is a down economy and I know lots of people are out looking for jobs, perhaps even some of my readers. So, as a service to you, I'd like to provide some of my tried-and-true resume tips, culled from the hundreds of resumes I've read and thrown out over the years. I'm currently in the process of hiring a few sales people for our business, so I'm freshly reminded of all the faux pas committed by those hungry to be hired.

1. Don't put your GPA on your resume UNLESS it is actually something to brag about. I received a resume today with the listing: "Blah Blah University, Pre-Med 2.00 GPA." Really? A whole 2.00? Wow. Nothing says "Hire me now!" like an unflinching C average. Just leave it off unless you can put the words Magna or Summa somewhere. Trust me, no one more than two years out of college cares what your GPA is, was or would ever be.

2. Under memberships and associations, things like the AAA are not really relevant. If anyone can be a part for a $35 membership, and if they provide 24-hour roadside assistance, these might be "memberships" you can leave off. This includes Sam's Club, Direct Buy and the Hair Club for Men.

3. A related note: membership in political or quasi-political organizations might also be the wrong thing to put on a resume. First impressions are important and no matter the political leanings of the interviewer, membership in organizations like the NRA or NOW could be a little inflammatory....I'm just saying. We all have stereotypes in mind when we hear these abbreviations, and they come right to the forefront when splashed on a resume in black and white. By all means, wear your "You'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands" or "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" t-shirt to the company picnic, but only after you've been hired.

4. Don't ever use the word "penetrate" on a resume. Bleah. Here, I'll use it in a sentence just so you can understand the full horror: Acquired and penetrated new customers, resulting in 15% increase in business. Are you a prostitute? A male prostitute? Because that is the only time you should be penetrating customers. Well, I guess if you are an assassin, but you get my point.

5. Don't refer to the person interviewing you by their first name unless they give you permission. I receive so many emails starting "Dear Lacy." No. I am Ms. Coutsoftides or Mrs. Coutsoftides, if you are feeling frisky and know that I'm married. I'll give you permission to call me Lacy eventually, but don't assume I like you well enough to do it out of the gate.

So here's hoping these tips help you in your job hunt. Oh, and if you want to sell sea and air freight, drop me a line. I'd be happy to talk to you....if you'll just send me a resume.